LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

hi, its been so so long since my last post. why i decided to write leh ? i guess i just feel like writing wht i feel down,,, or just to share something. so love knock on our doors unexpectly.. oftenly it does, one day u just find urself in love with an old fren,, with ur enemy… with ur old classmate…

i don have the flair to write anymore. wht is the meaning of a relationship? why do two people in love start a relationship? to share their love? to have faith? hope? .. anyway the question i wanna ask today is if u are in love,,, deeply in love,,, to some they claim they are in love.. the question is … should your love one be your number 1? number1 thing in your life?  to some people the most important thing could be their studies, their family,, some frens,, some even god.. is your love one ur number 1 ?

sometimes we take for granted of your love one,, there is no harm having something else over your love one,,, nobody said you cannot put ur bf or gf number 3 or 4 or 5,,,all you have to do is ask yourself,, are u willing to lose this person ? if you are willing to put him at number 4 ,,, or 5 ,, meaning if one day tht person is gone,, it means nothing,,, or the impact is not so big,, as this person is not your priority.. am i right ?

the main point is,, it is not wrong to put your love ones number 4 or 5,,, but do not take tht person for granted.. do not take tht person for granted,, i nv said can put ur love one number 4 or 5 ok don come and scold me ya,,, well.. love is so hard to find nowdays,,, it is very hard to find someone u can love with all your heart,, it is so hard to find someone you can share and trust…so hard to find someone tht make u smile every morning.. make you sleep at peace every night… hmm,,,love is something so beautiful!!!

end of the day..  your mistake will catch up on you,,,, think before you do something that might hurt your love one… 3 words that can heal all pain… i love u ….

same as always … i love u all…

its been ages since i once wrote blog. hmm,,, why i stop? i guess time just caught hold of me, i once said a life not reflected is a life not worth living.. hmm.. so well writing a blog is sort of a good way for one to to relect wht he or she did in the past.. let me see what have i been doing all this while?? well christmas is very near,, and it sort of bring nack lotsa memory of the past.. some very nice wen,,, no doubt its all sad for me to remember.. but i got to admit it was a great time spent,,, thanks,,, love u ,,, went for lotsa shopping,,, one day,, i think last week,, we started our day at time square coffeebean,,, hehe.,., den started our shooping spree,, hehe.,.. don blame me..  its christmas.. ok.. haha from times to sg wang to lot10 to midvalley to  and our day ended at klcc… hehe..  i still remember my fren asking me.. wanna got the curve?? hai.,. i was like.. wht??? haha..,, another time lah… lol!!! well the last weekend was rather peacefull., went out with father.. firstly went to port dickson.. went for this youth rally… phew,,, 200 over youths.. very good.. very well organise.. hmm., good for them.. den drop by at marris brother centre to check out the chinese speaking youth.. hai,, den went to father place at seremban to crash,, oh,,, for those who don know who is father,, its not my real dad ,, father is my parish priest ( father julien ) hehe.,. crash at his place,,, den went for jogging in the morning,,, phew what a long jog… a very long jog.. 5 km also got.. hai… den did chi gong with some old folks.. well i was the youngest there.. but let me tell u.. its nice lah… make ur body from fleksy,, hehe,, something like yoga.. cool… hehe.,., nice nice,… well den went to visit the new place for the carmilites and went to visit ij sisters.. had a little chat with father.. visited some people.. hehe… wht a wonderful day.. hai.,.,, it was tiredring.. and i forget to mention… from tht time on i had slight fever.. hmm… the weird thing was just after father drop me home.. i had high fever.. and my leg was in pain.. i don know why.. how.. when? but my right foot was in pain when i walk.. hai.. and high fever.,, went back to kl and my beloved uncle took me to see doctor,,, hai.. fever went down.. and my uncle too me to a foot reflexsology for my foot..well now its much better..hehe.. thanks..uncle..,

well i don know wht to talk also.. hmm i am thinking wht is the real menaing of christmas,,, nature teach us its a time to ebjoy,,, well time to shop for new stuff.. enjoy and party,,, church teaches us tht its a time to celebrater the birth of jesus our sasvior,, our salvation.. its a time to share ,, its a time to give.,,,, i totally agree.,, its not all fun and leisure… but i think its a time where u share not only ur things., but also ur love..with ur love ones and others precious people tht is all around u.. its a time to thank god for all the thing su have and be totalu greatful tht u have all this winderful person around u ,.. it s a time to share ur love with ur family , frens. and ur neigbours… we must ask ourselves wht is christmas?? wht is it really about?? wht should we do ?? wht have we been doing is ti right ? should i change ?? can i do something for someone else?? this are the questions we must ask ourselves and do something about it,,, i won post until next year.. so i take this chnace to wish u a merry merry christmas and a very very happpy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you all…. muaks,,,,,,

ok this blog got few things.. let me start with first thing on my mind… i try to help.. but was rejected.. i try to care but was push away… i try to love but was given a slap.. well?? what choice u give me but to walk away… i try evrything… frens also u giving all kind of excuses… haha… i should see it from the start.. just slip.. hmm.. life is beautiful. suffering is good.. and our purpose here on earth is just simply serving others… how many of us can live life base on this?? how many of us ? well i am not wasting my time dwelling in this anymore.. i did everything i can.. i love, i care, i think now i shall leave…. life is short i once said if u recall.. well it is.. and i am not going to waste m time regreting … if we feel regret we try to change,.. but sometimes not everything can be undone.. so i guess we just have to move on…

life on earth is just a temporary assigment …. heres a story for u …

once the president of the united state, a army general and a priest was goin back home on the same ship.. this was after the war.. and they arrive on shore.. the whole country welcome the president and the army general like king.. like their long lost relative.., they cheer for them , they hug them.. but no one seem to borther about the priest.. and the priest was sad.. he look up in the sky and ask god.. why ?? i did so much for u and this is how u repay me?? GOD ANSWER.. YOU ARE NOT HOME YET!!! … HEHE .. WHAT HE MEAN BY THAT??? life on earth is just something temporary.. its something short.. i once ask u all what is life to u ?? trust ?? game?? race??? tests?? ask urself… is life just about having fun? having a relationship?? is life perfect as long as you are happpy?? are you really happy on the inside?? or do you still fell something is missin?? today blog finally i am back to the old me.. writing what i love the most.. life… purposes,., not some girl that i once love… once care…. now its just a memory… i wish you all the best in life!!! take care…

love you guys.,………. take care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when i look back my life… love started when i was form 4.. true love i mean.. but i was too young and took it for granted.. how i wish i could find it a little later!! that would be great.. hmm.. when u fall out of love. how do one move on?? it is like the most hardest thing.. those who wen thru it before will know.. everytime anytime of the day anything can remind you of the past.. and when it hit.. you will just break.. only time can heal this.. nothing else.. i guess all of us have to just embrace our suffering.. we all havr to go thru some part of suffering in our life.. we can never run away from it.. why hide from it.. yes none of us want to suffer.. but when i look back.. if i neve did suffer.. i would not have grow into who am i today.. i have grow and learn so much more suffering.. so i guess its just how we look at suffering..

well so fast second semester started!! hai.. some new teachers… hmm.. english teacher so lan si .. she come in ady she said my name is slyia or something plz pronounce it correctly.. its a french name.. haha.. well OK hehe… other than that ok.. me and my frens considering wether to join squash or dancing? well have to join some koko this semester.. we all can play other sport so wanted to try something new.. hmm!! what do u think??? hehe… mummy birthday was on friday!! faster rush home after lunch.. and phew!! everywhere jam!! full!! all lasat minute shooping.. hai.. see i always said they are stupid ya?? haha…. cnt shop early ah ?? ‘ BANG JOM PERGI SHOPPING ,, YANG NAK BELI BAJU BARU.. JOM LAH BANG!! HAHA…. .. nice!! hehe… went out to dinner… hmm… well mummy love u !! well was invited to attend thilip party.. happy depavalli thilip.. but din’t attend coz don wanna see someone.. no lah.. just don wan to dwell in it anymore.. and i think i never show up helps both of us also.. sorry ya thilip.. hope u not reading.. hehe.. so went back to kl on saturday!! attended a nicer party… guess?? JX party.. cool.. it was my lucky day… mat some new frens… hmm.. i shall said i made some good looking frens.. haha…. well.. was thinking i am glad i din’t attend thilip party.. seeing tht person will only hurt me more.. and the worst part is now frens also no more chance.. hmm… well its ok… ?? well ok frens.. stop asking me who is the new girl.. i put thank u for entering my life.. i was refering to god.. i love u .. god… okok?? so stop askingme who who all lah… okie?? hai……….

well thanks again… love u …. hehe…

i wrote something so long… but den i press something den all erase.. hai… its ok… i found a song that can tell everythin… my whole point today is love is not enough in any relationship….

patty smith and don henley ( sometime love just ain’t enough )

Now, I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don’t want to hate you,
I don’t want to take you, but I don’t want to be the one to cry.

And that don’t really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don’t want to blame you.
Baby, you don’t have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something’s gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there’s no way home, when it’s late at night and you’re all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart they can’t touch.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

Baby, sometimes, love… it just ain’t enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

i am sure this song brings all kind of though and feelings… plz bare with me.. if you don’t have this song.. i strongly suggest u just go and download it.. and listen it carefully.. its a wonderful song… there is a danger in loving somebody too much and its hurt when u noe u can’t trust ur heart?? hmm… interesting… well enjoy!! don’t cry all lah!!! hehe….

take care and god bless u all!!! love you!!!

when i look and read all my past blog.. its all about the same person… of cause its me.. but its also involve somone else… hmm!! life life here we are again talking about you.,. life will continue to hit us hard.. yes it is beautiful.. but it won’t be all the time… sometime when you work so hard and at the end of the day… you receive a slap… hai… how??

what are you going to do if someone you love told you that they are afraid of you?? i have been thinking of this for quite sometime.. there is only 2 reason why the person said this.. 1st is tht bcoz they love you… and 2nd they just hate you.. its simple as that.. afraid of you,, bcoz they love you.. but they are afraid of this love.. uncertainty and lack of faith and trusth and of cause hope!!! what to do ?? can i do anything to help this person that i love to accept it… i don’t know… second… they hate you thats why they are afraid of you.. they dispise you.. what to do ?? if you love them .. you would leave them alone… not for a week.. a month.. but for years,… if the person that i love and means the most to me tells me that they are afraid of me … bcoz they hate me.. i will halp them.. i will thank them.. i will wish them well.. keep them in prayer.. and walk away… untin the time comes.. years later when you seee again this person in the road.. and said hi, its been ages… well i give you 2 reasons why a person you love tells you that they are afraid of you.. i am sure everyone would prefer the first 1… bcoz they love you .. but they are afraid…  but is that whats happening?? when you look around the world today.. you see hate!!! you see pain!! and suffering!!! what can we do to stop all of this??? hai…..

there are 2 gates in life , the narrow gate and the wide gate, many choose to enter through the wide gate because it is easy to do so, you should think where does the gate brings us.. now on how narrow it is… for example..does a person travel on a road because it is wide?? or is it because of its destination… ? ask youeself today… which road are you going to take.. the narrow gate.. which is hard but leads to your destination.. or the wide gate that does not lead to your destination…

someone once told me how great gallery by mario vazquez is.. and i listen to it so so many times oover and over again and i can feel the singer pain.. the pain of losing someone.. hmm..!!! like i said earlier on… mario felt so painful because the other guy treat her as a painting… something just for show.. while to mario she means the world..  hai.. i will walk away if its hard for you.. you know me.. i would do anything for you… all i want is for you to be happy!!!

love you guys!!! god bless you!!! love you!!!

Just watched this great show!!

Superb!!! This kind of show just reminds me how much I love to watch movies and how great this feeling I am feeling now… after I watch this show… hmm!!! Its 4 am but here I decided to write something’s down.. okie oh ya the movie is SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION its about a guy was send to life in jail for something he dint’s do and it is just superb with everything that happen and the twist to the show.. hehe.. I just love it… this kind of a show when I watched,and when it is finish I will smile and clap and so fill with joy!! Hai……. Thank god for this great thing call movie…. The 1^{st person who leave a comment on this blog.. I will treat you to a movie?? Deal… haha….okie what I wanna talk today.. hmm.. was a happy day actually today.. went ot play ball and all.. wah… so long never play… I getting worse at it!!! Haha,… better get back in shape…well well.. I am listening to} Edwin mccain… what a great song!! Hai… okok.. I was thinking of all the things that I did in the past.. I still remember few of my biggest mistake ever in my entire 18 years!!! One word to describe all those action… STUPID!!! Hmm… when I flash back at this REGRETS I feel sad… I feel stupid.. and how life would change into something much more beautiful and wonderful… I wonder and ponder on something that might took place if I have not done all those things… said those wrong and hurtful words… how my life would have taken a wide turn… whom I’ll be with… what am I now… hmm!!! If I have a chance how I wish I could go back and tell that guy to not be stupid… be patience!! Be wise!! Think!! Hmm…. REGRET!! 1 word.. I am sure everyone have regrets in life and not one day we go by holding this burden on our back .. this pain.. its like a sickness.. a flu… that will comes once in a while… this regret hits you one in a while too… what can we do about regret?? Well stop feeling regret.. REGRET MAKE YOU OLD!! … stop feeling bitterness … bitterness make the people around you suffer.most of our life is a series of images that passes our life..but sometime the moment stun us as it happen…. Don’t you agree?? Think… I am sure there is something that you regret right now!!! Regret saying yes to someone?? Saying no?? shouting at someone?? Hurting someone?? Stealing??? Kill someone by words of cause??? Insult?? This list goes on and on… wan to know what I regret the most??? Saying and thinking the wrong things … my stupid mouth!! If only I cant talk I would not be able to said all those things and nothing would ever happen.. well what is it that make you regret?? Let it out and get over with it… what is this image that stun you?? let it out!! Every part of our life will live on… looking back at all my mistakes , I come to a conclusion that there is a measure to life.. its how we measure it.but I learn that the most important is not to be bitter to life sadness .. I learn to let go of the past .. I realize that everyday won’t be sunny .. and for the darkest day .. bare in mind that only in the night I am able to see the most beautiful thing to me… stars!! And the stars lead us back home!! So do not feel regret anymore for the greatest reward in life only comes only for what we fail to do..

who know where life will take you.. the road is long… and in the end our journey is our destination… like what I always said LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL… THANKS FOR ALL UR WISHES AND ALL MY BIRTHDAY GIFTS.. THANKS!!! YES YES… I WILL GET SOMEHTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY TOO.. I WON’T FORGET!!! HEHE… GOD BLESS!!!

Ok its 4 am now… today earlier.. hmm!!! Tears rolling down right now.. hai…………………….. just watched a show.. yes it is a great and awesome show… of cause!! If not how can make me cry..

( SAVING PRIVATE RYAN ) hai… I watched it before but it was a long time ago… hmm hero die of cause sad lah… sad movie make me speechless!! Well life is precious .. we must live everyday of our lives as it is our last.. yes!!! Start now if you’re not doing it!! I am not saying have fun to the max all oki.. I am saying go and do something that is worth!! Earn it!! Earn life!! Do something that someone will remember! Hai…. Do anything my dear friends.. do something for charity.. something for your family.. your partner.. friends!! Life is beautiful!! Life is precious and sometimes to some people life can be short!!! My last post I talked about regrets.. life is short why spend time regretting somethings… why?? Is it worth regretting?? Hmm!!! Well to me somethings yes!! It depends I assume… today a friend told me that she never seen a sunrise or sunset!!! OMG !!! ops… hmm!!! I must must bring her and go and see this wonder of mother nature!! It is on the first thing on my list of life!! Bring her to see this wonder!! Hmm!!! And I will do it if it is the last thing I would do before I perish!! okie?? No pictures all.. I want you to withness it yourself!! Well what shall I talk in today’s topic den… today went ice skating !! hmm was a bit shaky at first.. manage to get balance and start skating!!! Hmm…… it was okie!! Okie let me tell you all something… what is true love?? To me true love is something so unique .. I’m sure you all know this… but true love is not some fairy tale love that have no obstacle and no pain…but true love is everything !! the pain!! The suffering!! The tears!! Its about two souls going thru it together!! William Shakespeare said love is not love which alter when alteration find , when life gets hard, when things change.. true love remain the same.. yes it does.. even it is not being with that person.. but all you have to know is that person is happy!! Yes!! Hmm.. is your love true love?? Like I said earlier on life is beautiful, life is precious and life is short.. don’t waste time if it is not true love.. yes we all want to be with someone,, we all wants a relationship.. but is it true love?? Is it ??? you know we all take for granted the things in life, and we only realize it when we lose it.. I read this bulletin in frenster that other day about how gf should appreciate their boyfren and how their bf should the other way!!! Hmm I could’t agree more!! we all take for granted!! Have you heard of the expression that the best things in life is free?? Well let me tell you it is so true!! For me the best thing is love!! Because loving you is free..

loving all of you is free!!! Life is funny sometime, it can push very hard .. but if you look closely you will find hope in love! There will always be hope .. just look in the eyes of your love onces.. if you lucky the person you love will love you back!! If you are lucky the person you love wil look into your eyes and feel the same way!!! And both of you knows right than that you two are meant to be and everything is just going to be alright!! Haha.. backstreetboys ( how did I fall in love ) is playing now.. hmm?? Why ask how when you are in love?? Don’t ask how… just do it!! So after reading this stop.. and stare at your partner eyes!! Hmm… ok I cant write any longer! Talking about this love and all just remind me of things… so love life… live life to the fullest… find true love… love!! And I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27September 2007.. Wednesday early morning… its almost 4 and I’m here lying awake again another day… what is happening… well today went out and got some stuff… bough some presents for some frens and all… oct is a hectic month… hectic in a way that it’s the month which most birthday… hmm… muz set a budget if I want to safe… if not.. I’ll be broke before Christmas even arrive… okie… why am I awake.. I don’t know… what is happening??? Ok… doing charity work make me start to think more… what should we do in life?? We live in an ‘I scratch your back and you scratch world”if I do a favour for u , I expect u to do something in return… am I speaking the truth?? Ask yourseves???what are we to do about that?? Why cant we just give without expect something in return?? Because that is what the world is teaching us.. but should we follow that way ?? or god’s way?? TRUE GREATNESS IS IN WHAT WE DO FOR OTHERS AND NOT IN WHAT WE EXPECT THEM TO DO FOR US… don’t give excuses that you are busy,,, no time and all…make time..hm.,., okok.. listening to 2 songs in particular.. 2 very meaningful song right now… Edwin mccain;;; I’ll be…. And cliff Richard.. ocean deep… whats the different of this 2 songs.. for starter.. one is your favorite and 1 is mine…  I’ll be is all about what I would do for you and how beautiful you are… and how deeply I have fallen in love for you and would do anything for you… well listen,. Ok.. in ocean deep.. is about??? Is asking for a chance… a chance for love… it’s a rather sad song… a heart without a home… yes… I want to spread my wings but I cant fly… I want to love you … but will you let it be?? Hmm,..,., ok its 4 thirty in the morning… and my eyes are very tired,, I shall end this with a poem.,,..,.

The Dreamer
I am a dreamer,
a dreamer is all I can be.
I dream of so many things,
dreams that I wish were reality.

As I lay myself at night to sleep,
I pray to God the memories I keep.
as I gently close my eyes and relax,
I wish that I would dream of you.

I dream of you in so many ways,
a dream so beautiful, so real…
your arms around me while we kiss,
the feeling of true love with such bliss.

as I kept on dreaming, I prayed…
“Lord, please make her mine someday!”
and if this not meant to be.. plz take good care of her..

may you be shower with love, joy and care!!!!”

i think you know who this poem goes to??

well.. god bless.. and love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well today is a great day for me… I don’t know this feeling but I somehow feel happy… it’s because of attending mass and all I assume… actually is because of what I hear… I always ask god for this and that… I ask god for what I want and for what I think is good for me… but I don’t even know if it is really good for me or not also… but today that will change.. I will ask god for something which will help me to grow..i am growing to be more patience and understanding… and I will ask god to help me to understand him more… today somehow I felt this inner peace inside of me.. That I wasn’t able to find for quite sometime already now… because I wasn’t looking for the right thing… I always thought that love will bring, provide that… but I am wrong… I guess its time for me to think… to reflect… what is it I want? And what I actually need?? Hmm… Sitting here and listening to mix fm… Its 3 am… what am I doing?? I should go and sleep… I am just writing whets on my mind right now…. I don’t know what I should write anyhow… I can see two things… mel letter… hmm…. And a poem… title grandma poem… I think both of the people know whom I am talking about… what it is behind all this mystery of life… I still remember someone once told me that I must be patience… the answer of life may not be that apparent now… but soon it will be reveal… and all answer will be answer.. So now just live life… and I always said do not worry for the past for it is gone, and do not be anxious about the future… for it is yet to come… and I am sure god has a wonderful plan for you waiting… so live life to the fullest today.. For you don’t want to regret it tomorrow… I will always be here waiting for u … I will always be there by your side… I will love you even when you don’t love me anymore… its okayed ,,, for I will be strong until the answer of life is reveal… Well Friday went to visit my best fren in hospital. Was kind of sad and all… but he is fine now… am very relieve and happy about that…ok… well Sunday was helping the wheel and reach group… wheel consist of those whom can’t walk and reach consist of deaf and dump… it was great… helping them.. Hearing their story. /. Really make u look at life in a different perspective… they were telling… they face a lot of trouble everyday… people look down on them because they are handicape and yet they wake up everyday and face life with pride and joy and they have no regrets when they go to bed everyday.,.. What about us??? We?? Do we appreciate life?? The life that we have?? The people around us ?? well we should… we have more than what we deserve…. It is our duty to help those need it more than we do…. So start… open your eyes… my frens… lend a hand… it may be anyway.. you may start by loving and appreciate the people that are close to you.. love and cherish them.. remember.. love is something meaningful only when you give it away.. and why not start with the people that mean the world to you… hmm.. getting tired now.. wil continue tomorrow…. i know what i need… and what i want… and in order to get what i want… first i must get what i need….hehe… what i talking??? ask urself den… nite!!!